Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
