His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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