so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
