I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you win again, gameday.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
