oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
