If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
