i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
