Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
i out mim tonsoeep
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