Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
