well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
