i don't like sucking hair
either way he was missing a nipple.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
