I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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