She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
