Me too!
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
