You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
