we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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