i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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