I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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