yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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