I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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