i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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