So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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