saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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