Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
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She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
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The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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