the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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