we're blogging at a bar
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
