i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
