Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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