I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
