they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
