every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
this will be a night to untag.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
