I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
