"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you would pick up someone in the library
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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