i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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