My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
