dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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