I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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