how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
