kristin has been a bad kristin
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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