Acid is not a monday night drug
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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