Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
