Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
