would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
