i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
