physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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