So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
