I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
