your room smells of hookers.
And success
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
