You're my little dorito
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
