My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
