did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
The cops high fived after they tackled you
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
