OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
