I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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