Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
