I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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