I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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