those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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