I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
