You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
