i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
