It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I lost the right to judge tonight
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
