quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
