he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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