Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
