What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
